Trust your gut?

My mum always said trust your gut, but I lead with my heart.

I’m too trusting. I try and see the good in people when there is no good, their soul is dark.

In this life all I want is to feel loved and have a big happy family of my own.

So dating is hard. It is made harder because I’ve been hurt so much and still try to trust.

All that ever happens is that I end up hurt.

Always fucking hurt.

Is it too much to just be a decent human who doesn’t hurt other humans? Who raised these men?

I trust my gut and think someone is a good person who will not hurt me, turns out everyone will hurt you to get what they want.

Searching for love has left me heart broke, beaten, bruised, raped and abused. Looking for something so wholesome? HOW?

It makes it so hard to believe in God when all he does is send people who want to hurt me.

I just want to love and be loved, that is it. Such a simple thing that billions of people in this world have experienced.

Am I not worthy of being loved?