12 years ago today

12 years ago today, yet another day etched into my head because of you. One day, valentines day wasn't enough you wanted more.

Do you remember what happened? I do.

It had been four days since you raped me and took everything from me. I still had to go to college because nobody knew what you did to me.

Walking past your house, the place where you raped me and beat me.

Walking home, you and your friend cornered me, refusing to let me past. Fucking taunting me. Letting everyone think it was consensual.

What happened next is a blur, but you already know this. You pushed me into a wall and told me nobody would ever believe me, to keep my mouth shut or you would kill me. I pushed you back and then I'm not sure what you did... Did you punch me in the face or push me? Still to this day don't know.

You RAN! Like the pussy coward ass, you are. I was unconscious on the cold floor.

If it wasn't for those two men you'd have got away. Two real men.

The police told me the men grabbed you and restrained you and your rapist bitch ass could only say "you're racist you're doing this because I'm black" Nah they did it because they SAW you knock me down.

I was rushed to the hospital, you know when my head hit the curb they thought my neck and back were broken I couldn't move my legs.

I had overcome cancer for some filthy mongrel to paralyse me? I was so scared I couldn't feel my legs. Luckily, thankfully it was just anxiety that had paralysed me and after some care, I was able able to go home. Unlucky for you.

You should be locked up with the other rapists and sex offenders.

The police called me to the station and asked me what happened, your words screaming inside my brain "they won't believe you". I never told them about the rape. I had a criminal record because of you! For defending myself.

I was 16 years and 11 months old. Still, a child and you damaged me for life.

I flinch when a lover tries to hold me, I don't like going out alone, I have panic attacks, I cry in my sleep I don't trust anyone, moreover men because of you Richard. You did this to me.

You took so much from me, for what? What did you achieve other than rapist status?

Honestly, I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

This one is a little all over the place I found it so hard to write, I didn't draft this one I wrote it from my heart.